Flutters...

So, I am absolutely the WORST blogger ever!  I think about blogging and then I think "hey, I could blog or eat...", clearly the latter wins and then before I know it, I'm in a food coma and falling fast asleep while watching Nickelodeon with the kids.

Seriously, I am sorry for being so quiet about the journey lately.  Truth is, Shane is in a 16 week training course for his new job and that pulls him away around 6:00a and keeps him away until around 6:00-6:30p. I am taking a summer Microbiology class (not good to study worms and parasites while fighting morning sickness) and my days are pretty full.  My boys were in Virginia with their grandparents for two weeks and returned just last week.  Note to self-2 weeks = 2 long!

Onto the babies.
I am still surprised every time I see them on screen.  I cannot believe our good fortune.  These little honies are growing perfectly!  I mean they are completely formed with hands and feet, eyes and ears, and now belly-buttons (the placenta is now providing hormones and nutrients directly to them).

I have had two ultrasounds since I last posted and boy have they grown...

9 weeks 4 days (2 weeks ago)

Baby "A"

"A" again

Cuddle bugs

Baby "B"

11 Weeks 4 days (Today)

Don't beat yourself up...I couldn't see it either..feet!

Baby "A"

Already just alike:-)

"B's" feet, how sweet.

Aren't they GORGEOUS???  Heartrates are at 166 and 168..Anyone want to place bets on what the genders will be???

So the babies aren't the only ones growing.  My uterus (a veteran now) has decided she will not be upstaged...

11 Weeks 3 days (yesterday)

While some of you may be thinking "awwww, how cute".  I assure you the kids at the pool point and stare.  My belly button is already more of an "outie" than it used to be and a bikini may just not be the way to go anymore:-)

Finally, I saw my OB for the first time today ( 2 appointments in one day..these babies are getting lots of attention) and he and his nursing and office staff were so glad to see me back.  They are on board a hundred percent and can't wait to watch this very special journey unfold.  I am now off all medication and am carrying this pregnancy on my own...NO more shots.  NO more suppositories.  This is a very rewarding day!

"T", we made it!  We are 3 days away from the 2nd trimester!!!  I get teary as I remember late December.  I was crushed we were not pregnant...but now I celebrate because these sweet babies knew what you and I didn't.  They knew they wanted you to be their daddy.  We just had to be patient.  I am giddy when I talk about this journey.  I couldn't stop smiling today as I encouraged a friend to look into surrogacy. "T" and "C" and "C" and "M" you are all so wonderful!  I cannot wait to see your eyes light up when you feel these twinlets kick you in August.  Xo until then--

Linnea

Marius

 

 

 

Seriously, these kittens are getting more lovely by the day!  With those big blue eyes...Mommy and Daddy probably have a hard time ever saying NO!  Precious twinsies at 15 months!

In my head I hear her cheering...

So you all know that sweet little basketball cheer "2, 2 we want 2. clap, clap, clap, clap, clap..."???  This seems to be the theme song playing in my mind daily.  Halle cheered this all winter and it is funny that her little squeaky voice sings to me even in my dreams.  Well we've all had a sort of "gut feeling" about what (who) is baking in this oven of mine..the numbers were taunting us all but we had to wait for the ultrasound to confirm our suspicions.

Thursday morning I woke up early (and eager) to get a peek inside.  I was wrought with mixed emotions because I knew what T was hoping for...one healthy bouncing baby, but I was feeling nearly certain there were 2...I have done this before, lol.  I hadn't spoken with T for a while so I wasn't sure what he was feeling or thinking...wanting...I hopped up on that all too familiar table and took a cleansing breath as the technician began.  Only a half a breath passed before she looked at me and said well there THEY are..2 sacs both with embryos thriving.  Not like I was surprised but wow, my breath was gone.  I felt panic, (sorry T) elation (because T is going to have a small litter), pride in my uterus for doing her job once again and most of all relief...ahhhh not 1 but "2, 2 we want 2" healthy babies!!

Wanna see 'em???

Again, the cheering:-)

Little tadpole

First photo

I sent these pictures to T and he passed them along to his, and I am not exaggerating, AMAZING family!  Seriously, these folks know how to make a girl feel loved.  I have not even met T's momma but she sends me little emails of support and I am in tears.  T's sis just makes me feel happy because every note begins with YIIIPPPPPEEEEE:-)  These little babies are already so adored!

So today I am 7 weeks 2 days with twins and so far my symptoms are mild.  A little nausea (ok, alot) early in the morning and in the evenings and fatigue pretty much all day.  I'll take it!  I see exhaustion as a good sign.  It's no little task growing 2 people!!

Super Cute alert***  T is looking at minivns.  My heart is bursting!  That IS love.  Stay tuned, I have my second ultrasound this Thursday and we will see growth and even stronger heartbeats.

The numbers are in...

     Well I have known I was pregnant for just over a week but this week we had blood work done to confirm.  My first draw was done on May 8 and that number was 496.  This morning (2 days later) my number was 1519...That means my numbers tripled in 48 hours...I'll post a link so you can see what the numbers mean.
Beta Numbers Calculator

     Ahhh!  I finally feel like I can relax and revel in the fact that this is no longer just a dream...this is now our reality and in 9 short months a very loved and long awaited someone will make his or her entrance to this world.

     I have been submerged in the world of surrogacy for the last 2+ years.  I have so many friends who are on their own special journey..I'm a part of so many facebook groups...so many websites.  It seems like my second language (if you will).  What I have come to realize, though, is that not all of you are in this world.  Many of these things may be foreign to you.  I will do my best throughout this process to explain the terms used in an attempt to make what may seem fuzzy much more clear.


    What's next???  In a week I will have my final blood draw which will again confirm the viability of this pregnancy.  Then a week after that is our first ultrasound.   I will be just over 6 weeks gestation and I am hoping that it will confirm what we are all hoping for...a thriving healthy baby with a strong heartbeat.  Pictures will of course follow.

    Here is a really helpful website for those who just want to know more.
http://ivf.ca/


Terms used today:
1.  BETA-This is the blood test that measures the amount of  hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) or embryonic growth hormone in the body.
2.  IF- Intended Father (or "T")

As always thanks for reading.  Thanks for supporting me and my family and "T" and his family.  This is familiar to me but is uncharted territory for many.  I hope that you will gain insight as you follow along.  I hope if your mind is closed that it will become open as you watch true joy unfold.  If your heart is hard, it is my hope that a life lived to serve the needs of another may soften it.  My greatest hope is that by January 12, 2013 1+1+1 will equal 2..."T" and "Tiny T" together at last!

Good News!!

Hello to all my loyal readers..I've missed you so!  As many of you know (and some of you don't), I have been cycling (for a second time) with a single IF in LA.  We had our first transfer in December and we were unsuccessful.  We revamped some things.. made arrangements to have a new egg donor and hoped this go round would render a BFP (big fat positive).  My hubby and I have said since late March that we "just knew this felt better".  It was a better time.  My body had healed from the previous journey even longer and it was GO time.  I started with Lupron daily and was on that for nearly 5 weeks.  I was (am) also on Estrogen injections every 3 evenings and progesterone injections nightly...there is other protocol but I'll spare you that..(surro's know).  Shane and I headed to LA April, 18 and awaited the news of the transfer.  We got great news..This time the embies looked great and we were on for a 5 day transfer!  This was great as we were able to spend time with 'T" at the Getty Center.  We had a nice afternoon and evening getting reacquainted with our very special father-to-be:)  The next day and night Shane and I had some much needed ALONE TIME!  Surrogacy isn't always easy.  There are sacrifices a family must make occasionally but the transfer trip..that is a great perk.  We enjoyed Pasadena and all of the great shops and restaurants!  Here is me..the night before getting knocked-up:)

The next morning we woke up EARLY and headed over to the clinic with "T".  We were all very excited and ready to get started.  "T" decided with our doctor just how things should go down to give us the best shot at achieving pregnancy.  Once that decision was made, it was time to make the magic happen!!  Here are the little embies we were working with...


That day I rested as much as possible but I also enjoyed meeting some of "T's" friends again for dinner.  We headed home the next morning for the dreaded, the awful, the nearly UNBEARABLE two week wait.

Transfer was on Friday, but on Tuesday...

 

and by Wednesday I had......

and Wednesday night yet another and by  Thursday....

This one made it REAL!

Holy Moly, T is gonna be a daddy!!!!

SO in blogging fashion I will post my 3 weeks pregnant picture-

Watch this baby bump grow

 While on my trip I met to fellow surro sisters..couldn't leave these gals out.  Xo to you both Jo and Misti :-)

I have scary eyes but this is our only shot together

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Oh-My-GAWSH!

I literally just got these precious pictures and I couldn't wait to share them..Here are Linnea and Marius at 1 year, 1 month old!  I cannot stop smiling!!

Well we have dates!

Hi to all of you out there in Surrogacy land:)  I have just a quick update to share.  This has indeed been a longer process than any of us anticipated...We would all like to think that with the miracle of reproductive medicine, a baby is just thought of, created, transferred and grown.  Wouldn't that be nice??  Unfortunately there tend to be just as many snags, hang ups bumps in the road and delays with assisted reproduction as with traditional efforts.  There are donors and doctors and surros and lining checks and our most recent "bump" schedules!  Many of you know that a new egg donor was chosen and screened shortly after our failed cycle in December.  Nearly 2 full months have passed and what we thought would certainly be a March transfer was being pushed farther and farther back.  First we waited for her...I rearranged my school and clinical schedule to accommodate and would you believe now it is my schedule we are trying to work around.  I know this is frustrating to my IF but I assure you the norm is surrogacy is delay...it is a very tricky process to arrange 4 different parties (donor, IF, surro and doctor) in different states with different lives...It is possible though and when it is that perfect time it is peaceful.  So this is where we are..we have the "all clear" but we are waiting for the surro-stars to align and give us that perfect baby-making window.   Thanks to those of you who encourage me in my life.  Thanks for the words of support you give as I care for my family, take on a challenging career and seek to make a man a dad.  It is possible to do all these things but it is not easy.  Nothing that brings reward is. I am choosing (inspite of circumstances) to be VERY optimistic in this surrogacy.  I believe that whether or not things "go according to plan" this journey is still very much moving forward.  I will not be stressed out or pressured as that is not good for my body or soul and certainly will not be a good environment for a baby bean.  I am open and excited and calm and ready...Here is to being one step closer (not 2 steps back).