so much has changed...

I have been reading some of my earlier posts tonight and cannot believe how things seem to have changed..I went from hope and optomism, waiting for this journey to begin and now all my posts are strictly informative.  I am ashamed of myself!!  Today I am committing to find the joy and beauty in this journey..The bliss and amazement in nurturing two little loves.  How could I have forgotten that???  It was in the day to day.  The sickness, the fatigue and the pressure (placed on me by me) to keep these angels alive.  As I was re-reading I could remember the feelings of joy I once had. I would literally laugh out loud sometimes at the fact that I was actually chosen and got to do this..  I sit here tonight and I can feel these miracles moving in me.  I get to experience the joy of pregnancy and so many women do not get that.  I am choosing from this day on no matter how I feel to remember why I chose this journey, to help a couple desperate for a family.  I will remember that she would gladly take my place, the sickness and discomfort in a heartbeat so I am grateful.  I am now officially finished with my first trimester.  This is an amazing milestone in all pregnancies but it is huge in multiples.  These babies are gonna make it.  They have been so longed for and hoped for that they survived two surgeries and weeks of pain medicine and they will be born happy and whole.  I am so encouraged by those who read this blog, especially the other surro-mommies that leave helpful comments of support and advice.  I am so glad to know that while this is mostly an uncharted journey I am on, I am not alone.  I'm not entirely sure why I felt like writing this..I mean it is a blog.  More baby news to come soon.  Peace-