Can't please 'em all...

Yesterday someone made a comment that was quite bothersome to me..it was my dad..he said that he thinks I chose to become a surrogate for all of the attention I received for it and that if I was truly all about creating a family for someone I wouldn't need to post pictures about my journey or keep a blog.  His words cut me like a knife because while I did enjoy our journey it was most certainly not attention that was my motivation...I posted pictures of my pregnant self, the babies and my IP's because I wanted to show the world what I was doing with my life.  I challenged my dad by recalling all of the times he put my achievements in our local newspaper...Did he want attention or was he just a proud father?  I personally believe it was the latter and had technology been back then what it is today, I believe pictures of me and my sister winning volleyball championships would have been scattered all across his facebook wall.  Tonight a fellow surrogate friend posted this on my wall and it put in perspective my actions: "When I write a check to a cause I support or volunteer, I do it because it makes me feel good and it's supporting a good cause. My friends who do the 3-day breast cancer walk post all kinds of crazy pictures of the walk and the fun they had..., all decked out in pink boas and hats and tutus. They post the pictures to show how much fun it was, to bring awareness to the good cause, and hopefully recruit more people into doing it next year. And because they're proud of the accomplishment they've made in completing the event. How is that any different from what we've done. None of us would do this if it were terrible and made us feel like crap about ourselves! Of course, we do it for us!
Yeah, it's for us, but the parents get a hell of a lot out of it, too. In fact, my IPs don't understand that it is for me as much as it is for them."  How true her words are.  Yes..I did surrogacy because it felt good!!!  I liked it!!!  Wow, I feel better.  For some of you this may not make sense but I did not do it for you--I wanted to know that a family was created because of me..I am forever changed as are my IP's and for that I will not apologize.  Daddy-hang on tight because more pics will come and I will post and brag forever of the two precious babies who live an ocean away!!

School's Out For Summer...okay a week and a half:)

There are some things in life that just send me flying high...I mean like nothing can get me down kinda high!!!!  Childbirth is clearly one of them (or else I wouldn't have done it so many times) and completing a semester is another...with good grades:)  This has been my first year back in college since 1999...I completed a very difficult year while pregnant with twins...delivering twins...pumping...oh and taking care of my own 3 bundles of busyness:))  Amidst all the opposition I still managed to complete this year with a cumulative 3.7 GPA (Algebra brought me down a bit).  I am so thankful that I can now move beyond pre-requisite courses and into my specialized Nursing courses.  I am so thankful for the surrogacy and the babies because they inspired me to overcome obstacles and push myself beyond what I believed I was capable of achieving.  I cannot believe that in no time I will be a Nurse...Proof that it is never too late to follow your dreams!-

I am 30!

Yesterday was one of the most wonderful days ever!  I went to bed the night of the 2nd afraid that I would awake and look different...OLD!  I stayed awake until midnight...looked over at Shane and said "Do I look old?"  This is day I used to look forward to...I had 3 kids and 2 surrokids..I SHOULD be 30:)  I fell asleep excited about what the day ahead would bring...I had no idea what was in store.  I have never been the kind of girl to want a huge party with extravagant gifts..I just want to feel loved and thought of.  By 9:00am, I had already received 5 texts and like 100 facebook messages wishing me a happy birthday.  My hubby made a wonderful pot of coffee and had card #1 waiting for me;)  I got lots of birthday hugs and kisses from my kiddos and then they were off to school.  I heard my phone beep and saw that I had a text from my favorite IM...She had sent me 2 attachments, both pictures of the babies, wishing me a happy birthday.  Well that was enough for me...Nothing could make me happier than hearing from my Ip's and knowing that they thought of me on my birthday.  Oh wait, something else could make me feel better and did--my IM called me!!  This is the first time I have actually talked to her since Houston.  She was so sweet and sounded surprisingly energetic, considering her new full-time job of raising twins:)  She filled me in on how everyone was doing and I was over the moon...I felt so loved at that moment, I literally floated the rest of the day.  I went and had a mani/pedi, talked with a few friends and had the best lunch at "Famous Daves"...I went home and found a beautiful bouquet of flowers w/ a teddy bear, candy and a note..it was from E & S.  I literally couldn't contain myself...all of these sweet gestures added up to such a feeling of elation and joy!  

Later that day, I had a great party with my family and friends and received some wonderful gifts, a great cake and balloons, my favorite!  I was officially older but felt SOO much better.  I am not proud of every part of my 20's but for the most part I feel a HUGE sense of accomplishment and pride.  I have stayed in love with my husband for 10 years..I have given birth to 3 beautiful children and helped 2 more beauties enter into the world an create a family!  If I do anything else in this life, it will just be the icing on the cake.  Thank you Shane for making my day so special..to my kids for making me feel so young...to E & S for making me feel invaluable.  I love you all-

 Flowers:)

 Cake..Peace

 Hubby..after a couple drinks:)))

 me and my sis

 Me and my Momma

From Brennan and Hudson:)))