Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

Where do I even begin?  My head has literally been swimming for a solid 2 days now and as I sit I am NEARLY speechless...(nearly).  As some of you may know, Shane and I went to LA yesterday to officially begin our new journey.  Now most of the time I am all talk..chit chat, banter, whatever- I am game but yesterday was different...For the first time in as long as I can remember I was so nervous I could hardly eat or sleep.  I tried to keep my mind temporarily off of the situation nearly at hand and have a little fun so Shane and I decided we would take a stroll down Sunset blvd and catch some much needed comic relief and look what we found...

before the show...

and after..

SO cool and just what the doctor ordered.  I think we walked in circles around this part of West Hollywood for so long that we were both ready to crash when we arrived back to the hotel (Le Parc)  <----- This hotel, by the way, is awesome.  Here are some pics

I layed in this bed above wondering, planning, thinking, doubting and second guessing myself..I even had a dream that I arrived at GG for the match and 'T' had seen a different profile than mine and was expecting someone else...Needless to say, I was freaked out and so nervous...that was until I opened the door to the room where the meeting was to take place...

Sitting (and quickly standing to greet me) was 'T'.  How was he doing this?  He was so unassuming, not shaking or sweating at all but calm and inviting.   For the first few moments I looked at him only a little and gave most of my attention to Stuart, our mediator.  I was doing pretty well and then Stuart asked the FIRST question and I had to look at 'T' to answer this one.  'Melissa, explain to T why you wanted to pursue surrogacy and especially now, for him, a gay man'.  I began to talk about my decision nearly 2 years ago, my past experiences and finally how they had led me to where I am today...I lost it..I had to look at this stranger I didn't know and his eyes just had to start talking to me...Even though at this point I was speaking hypothetically about carrying for a gay man, I could not get over the fact that that man was here in this room with me...I was seeing the rest of our journey, the rest of his life as a dad and I was simply overwhelmed.

We talked about me (how impressive) and then it was his turn to lay it out there...tell me just exactly why he wanted me to help him on his way to becoming a father...I will not share specifics but let me say, I have never been so moved.  I decided at that very second that 'T' was the man I wanted to carry for...it sounds so cliche but he had us at hello.  We walked through some contractual things and discussed questions, preferences regarding communication and so on and then it was time to leave our virtual nest and go out into the world to see if we could make it on our own.

We drove around a bit before we came to a quaint restaurant and sat down to eat...(Am I being too detailed??  Stop me or feel free to not read any further if I am.)  We were able to talk in greater detail about our lives, plans, families...and I learned several things that I will always remember...carseats, male seahorses, clarity and roo!  I was still trying to keep my elbows off the table and seem very lady like but really I just wanted to hold hands in a circle (like you do when you're a kid) and jump up and down.  I wanted to say so many things that I didn't...those things will just have to wait 'till next time:)  We enjoyed our lunch and then a birthday souffle before he drove us to the airport.  We had time for a few last minute "get to know me's" and then we were there..it all seems to have gone by so quickly.  I wondered could 'T' really be certain after only knowing Shane and me for a few hours?  Anyway, I could say so much more.

'T', Shane and I smiled the whole way home tonight.  We agree that this is the journey we want to go on, the road we want to walk down and nothing could make us any happier than for me to be your surrogate.  We loved all that you had to say about your family and we respect and admire your decision to begin a family of your own.  You are a truly kind man and far surpassed our hopes for a "match".  Here is to a life changing, world changing year.  Here is to making you a dad..your sister an aunt..M.C a cousin and your parents proud grandparents.  All that I have said is for my memory but these words are for you.  Any child would be lucky to call you dad.  I truly believe you will live life on purpose and do everything you can to build a loving, trusting relationship with your son or daughter.  Thank you for being so kind today and for really engaging us both.  We could not be more ready to get this party started...Happy Birthday!

Here is to another life, love, surrogacy!