23 weeks and counting

It seems as though I am always beginning my posts with "Sorry it has been so long" but it's true.  I am feeling okay these days.  Some days are better than others.  Some nights I actually sleep all night, others not so much.  The babies have officially taken over my body..Thwy continue to grow and are side by side now.  The girl is on my right head down (feet in ribs) and the boy is feet down (head in ribs)..  My doc looked today and said things so far look A-O-K for a vaginal delivery.  Phew, big relief.  I am finished with school for the semester and trying to enjoy Chistmas break.  It'll be New Years, then Valentine's then Easter and the babies will be here.  Not that far away when you think about it like that.  The heart beats are strong and the movement is steady so everything is perfect.  I'll post a pic of my rapidly growing self:)

Merry Christmas-Melissa

Pics of the babies @ 20 weeks

Baby Girl

Definitly a she!

Baby Boy

Pretty clear:)

And the Genders are...

It's my pleasure to announce that I am carrying a baby boy and baby girl...I went today for my 20 week u/s fingers crossed that this would be the result (obviously my pet names have proven that I had a hunch).  I cried as I saw first baby A-girl.  Four perfect heart chambers.  A beautiful left and right brain, perfect spine and then...3 bright white lines between the legs (indicative of a girl).  Then the u/s tech moved to the top of my belly, I saw all the same things and stared in utter amazement of what had been occoring within me..Then she said Baby b-boy!  I felt a tear roll down my face.  Please don't get all worried..I cried because this about sums up this journey for me..Utter perfection.  The transfer went perfectly, then there were two precious babies, I avoided the dreaded amnio, no genetic abnormalities were detected and now this A perfect pair-brother and sister.  Could there be a more storybook outcome.  It is worth it.  These two will always know eachothers companionship and will be nurtured and love fiercly by their mom and dad.  Well, I really have nothing else to say.  I am so happy..on a cloud really today.  Perfection is possible...hopeful parents really can say "it is worth it".  I am one proud surrogate today and cannot wait to see these two angels come into the world.  E &S-Congratulations..You deserve every ounce of happiness you feel today:)

Melissa

Ok, I feel you already:)

So these babies are growing by the day.  Yesterday my ticker said they were 10 inches long, today 10 and1/2.  It has really started to sink in that these babies are going to get quite alot bigger and to accomodate, so will I!  I am ready and willing to embrace this although I already feel about 7 months along.  I ran into several people today that so encouraged me.  An old friend, an elderly couple I used to attend church with as a child and several others.  There have been so many days in the previous months where I felt all alone in this journey and then yesterday I realized that simply was not the case.  Yes there were thos in a plcae I'll not mention, that were so incredibly cruel and lacked understanding and care...I cynically assumed that was the opinion of the whole Christian community or at least a majority of it.  Wow, have I been proven wrong.  Not only is that not true it is false.  Most of you that live and breathe are so supportive.  You have touched me with your questions and excitement.  I get so used to this miracle but those who see me infrequently remind me just how amazing these little lives are.  SO thank you for helping me to forgive those who have intended harm to me and my family.  Thank you for saying kind words instead of ridiculuing me or this family.  The mom and dad of these angels are waiting anxiously for the healthy delivery of their new lives.  You are making it possible for me to believe again.  To speak boldly about my choice to act as a surrogate mother and not defend it.  I am so thankful for all that has transpired in the last 8 months.  Without it, I would be the same person...I wouldn't have grown as a woman, began school, met new friends andbeen united with old ones.  I wouldn't get to be fully myself and now I can do it all.  I am relishing tonight in my life-thanks for reading:)
PS-Finding out the genders on the 24th....

the results are in...

SO, I and my IP's have waited very patiently for 2 whole weeks to get the results back from the quad screening that tests for genetic abnormalities like Downs Syndrome and Spina Bifida...Well, it was worth the wait to get the good news call from the doctor today.  Normal range for two babies is 2.0.  Anything higher is considered reason for further testing aka, AMNIO X 2..My results were well under at 1.4 and that means my doctor sees no reason to proceed with a risky procedure and believes everything to be completely normal.  I have no words.  I have been carrying around alot of unspoken worry about this test and I feel a huge weight has been lifted.  As for me the changes are becoming significant, FINALLY.  It is now apparant to almost all that I am indeed pregs.  I do not however look like I am carrying twins yet.  I am not sure when the huge growth spurt takes place but I look the same as I did when I was pregnant with only one.  I feel them kicking now pretty much all the time.  It is amazing too.  The baby on the right has been virtually inactive until this week and now he/she is kicking more than the baby on the left.  Like most babies, they get really active at night.  When gravity is relieved they move up to the center of my belly and it looks like an alien invasion.  I get a really huge lump and their kicking is much more pronounced.  The heartbeats have been in the 150's for the last month  so if I was a bettin' woman, It looks like maybe two darling sons for E & S.  I can't wait to see what is going to come out of me in 18-19 short weeks...I am now half way (to 36 weeks).  I eat about 3 times what I used to eat.  I almost never feel full and feel hungry within the next 2 hours.  I have gained 10lbs so far and am expected to gain 45 in all.  Holy moly.  I'm not sure that is something I am ready for.  Hello Coco butter:)  Well hopefully someone is still reading.  I have had so many exams and school assignments I just haven't had time to write.  The semester is almost over and proudly, I am sporting a 4.0.  Thanks for reading and supporting me.  I am encouraged by every comment and reader...Peace and baby dust to those hoping-
Melissa

so much has changed...

I have been reading some of my earlier posts tonight and cannot believe how things seem to have changed..I went from hope and optomism, waiting for this journey to begin and now all my posts are strictly informative.  I am ashamed of myself!!  Today I am committing to find the joy and beauty in this journey..The bliss and amazement in nurturing two little loves.  How could I have forgotten that???  It was in the day to day.  The sickness, the fatigue and the pressure (placed on me by me) to keep these angels alive.  As I was re-reading I could remember the feelings of joy I once had. I would literally laugh out loud sometimes at the fact that I was actually chosen and got to do this..  I sit here tonight and I can feel these miracles moving in me.  I get to experience the joy of pregnancy and so many women do not get that.  I am choosing from this day on no matter how I feel to remember why I chose this journey, to help a couple desperate for a family.  I will remember that she would gladly take my place, the sickness and discomfort in a heartbeat so I am grateful.  I am now officially finished with my first trimester.  This is an amazing milestone in all pregnancies but it is huge in multiples.  These babies are gonna make it.  They have been so longed for and hoped for that they survived two surgeries and weeks of pain medicine and they will be born happy and whole.  I am so encouraged by those who read this blog, especially the other surro-mommies that leave helpful comments of support and advice.  I am so glad to know that while this is mostly an uncharted journey I am on, I am not alone.  I'm not entirely sure why I felt like writing this..I mean it is a blog.  More baby news to come soon.  Peace-

13.5 weeks

I went to my doctor visit yesterday and it was amazing.  I truly have the best doctor ever.  He is very caring and thoughtful, he laughs when I joke about myself and the interesting going ons of this pregnancy.  Pregnancy is so very different when you are carrying for someone else.  I just can't explain(though many have asked me to) how differently I feel about this pregnancy verses my own.  You may only know as you do it yourself and I hope some are inspired to get out there and do this...it is a very silent sadness these men and women bear alone and you may be the only person willing to step out there and make a difference for them.  It is a huge commitment I will say, but very rewarding....

So on to the beans...Yesterday was the first time I heard their little heartbeats.  I didn't get to see them this time but I am beginning to feel them which is even better.  The HB's were in the high 150-160's so it's anybodys guess what is growing on inside me.  I know there has to be at least one girl..I feel it;) I am scheduled for my next Dr.s appointment in two weeks and then a few days later I will have the genetic testing.  I am hoping that the blood wrk will be conclusive as it sometimes is not with twins (throws the numbers off).  If all looks good, the amnio will be averted but if there is any question...I shiver at the thought.  I have never had any genetic testing for my kids so I never had an amnio.  Because there are two sacs that means two sticks..with a huge needle...in. my. stomach...Fingers crossed we don't have to go there.

As for me I am doing well as I approach the end of my first trimester.  The kidney stone is dormant and the fatigue is beginning to weign a bit.  I am looking forward to an amzing fall.  This weekend we are heading to a big pumkin patch with the kiddies so it's official, Holiday season is upon us.  Before I know it it will be Valentine's day and I will be rolling instead of walking.  I can't wait.  The journey is fun but in the end is the great reward...Peace