Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

So much to say and so little time...

Well today is a big day.  We have signed our legal contract which makes me available to begin the medical part of this journey...I leave for LA again in 3 weeks.  I will meet my IP's face to face for the first time and be able to express all the love that I have for them and the hope that I feel beginning this process.  They are making a very long trip and they are putting their hopes and dreams on the line.  I am praying that everything will go as planned.

On another note, We are moving home to Amarillo.  We have been here in KS for 5 years and because of our desire to love a family through surrogacy, we are being asked to leave our Church.  I will be short as I tell you plainly my thoughts.  "God is good".  There is no law against love.  If there are any that say they have no sin they lie and the truth is not in them.  Our church body (with the exception of some dear friends) are  filled with hate toward homosexuals that they feel our even working alongside them is a sin.  Because they couldn't bear to see us love they are pushing us away.  I have felt anger and bitterness and sadness and abandonment but today God has delivered me.  Amen.  I have a peace that truly passes ALL of my own understanding and I have made the choice to forgive.  I will not waste even one more day thinking about the hurt I feel.  I will think about the love God feels for me.  I will not think about the betrayal I have felt but the betrayal Jesus felt and yet he died sinless for me.  I praise God that He has given me a heart that can embrace surrogacy.  He has given me compassion for a hurting and barren woman.  That is God's heart.  I now boldly walk in to this without fear.  He is with me.  He began a GOOD work in me and He is faithful to complete it....phew, that is alot.
Please stay tuned as there will be much excitement in the next month...Also pray for jobs for Shane and I...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

So, it's a go...

I spoke just a few days ago with my IP's...That's surro language for "Intended Parents".  They are Great.  Their language is very beautiful and I love to listen to them try and speak English.  I was brought to tears as I heard relief in their voices...Thankfulness that I was willing to help them.  I know now more than ever that I am doing what is right!!!  The egg donor is almost ready and then we will proceed once the IP's make their VERY long trip to LA.  I have a few medications I have to begin taking befor the transfer so It will likely be late May early June....I can wait although I would love to be pregnant NOW!!!!  It looks like this sweet "Surrobaby" will make his/her debut in March of '11.

I'd like to say some things about sacrifice...I have been asked by what seems to be 100 people this question "How are you going to be able to give up that baby?"  "Aren't you going to bond and get attatched?"  This is a legitimate question so let me answer with a simple, Maybe.  Shocked that I would say it?  I didn't get into surrogacy because I was heartless or have no feelings.  I love being pregnant and I LOVE babies.  I will love this baby.  I know, however, that this child is loved infinitely more by the loving and longing parents a sea away.  To think they have had a room, crib, names and plans for so long and no baby to love...
Sacrifice to me is this...to lay down my wants and desires for the sake of another.  I pray so desperately that God would show His goodness through me to my IP's.  I want them to feel the immeasurable love of our God.  He has chosen unconventional ways in the past...aka..MARY!!!  Hello.  This was the first "Assisted Pregnancy".  Think about it- God sent an angel to Mary and told her she would be impregnated by the Holy Spirit.  She would not have sex but God would put his love inside of her..Mary said yes. 

Now I am in no way comparing the two, I'm just trying to bring some light to the situation.  I know God sent Jesus to be the Savior of the world but it still required sacrifice on Mary and Joseph's part.  Mary and Joseph must have had to answer soooo many questions.  To bad she didn't have a printed T-shirt...something like: "My husband's not the father of this baby, God is".  HA!   The greatest sacrifice of all came for Mary much later though.  She was given a child to love and nurture (though it was 33 years) only to give Him up. 

God has a plan for this baby.  A plan to prosper and not to harm.  A hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.  There have been moments of weakness for me in the past 2 weeks...I have allowed the opinions of others hurt my feelings but today is a new day.  I have heard from God.  I have made my decision with the full support of my loving husband and I cannot wait.  This sweet angel is already being loved by so many and I have the privilege to carry him or her.

Lighter note:  Help me come up with t-shirt ideas...