Good News!!

Hello to all my loyal readers..I've missed you so!  As many of you know (and some of you don't), I have been cycling (for a second time) with a single IF in LA.  We had our first transfer in December and we were unsuccessful.  We revamped some things.. made arrangements to have a new egg donor and hoped this go round would render a BFP (big fat positive).  My hubby and I have said since late March that we "just knew this felt better".  It was a better time.  My body had healed from the previous journey even longer and it was GO time.  I started with Lupron daily and was on that for nearly 5 weeks.  I was (am) also on Estrogen injections every 3 evenings and progesterone injections nightly...there is other protocol but I'll spare you that..(surro's know).  Shane and I headed to LA April, 18 and awaited the news of the transfer.  We got great news..This time the embies looked great and we were on for a 5 day transfer!  This was great as we were able to spend time with 'T" at the Getty Center.  We had a nice afternoon and evening getting reacquainted with our very special father-to-be:)  The next day and night Shane and I had some much needed ALONE TIME!  Surrogacy isn't always easy.  There are sacrifices a family must make occasionally but the transfer trip..that is a great perk.  We enjoyed Pasadena and all of the great shops and restaurants!  Here is me..the night before getting knocked-up:)

The next morning we woke up EARLY and headed over to the clinic with "T".  We were all very excited and ready to get started.  "T" decided with our doctor just how things should go down to give us the best shot at achieving pregnancy.  Once that decision was made, it was time to make the magic happen!!  Here are the little embies we were working with...


That day I rested as much as possible but I also enjoyed meeting some of "T's" friends again for dinner.  We headed home the next morning for the dreaded, the awful, the nearly UNBEARABLE two week wait.

Transfer was on Friday, but on Tuesday...

 

and by Wednesday I had......

and Wednesday night yet another and by  Thursday....

This one made it REAL!

Holy Moly, T is gonna be a daddy!!!!

SO in blogging fashion I will post my 3 weeks pregnant picture-

Watch this baby bump grow

 While on my trip I met to fellow surro sisters..couldn't leave these gals out.  Xo to you both Jo and Misti :-)

I have scary eyes but this is our only shot together

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Oh-My-GAWSH!

I literally just got these precious pictures and I couldn't wait to share them..Here are Linnea and Marius at 1 year, 1 month old!  I cannot stop smiling!!

Well we have dates!

Hi to all of you out there in Surrogacy land:)  I have just a quick update to share.  This has indeed been a longer process than any of us anticipated...We would all like to think that with the miracle of reproductive medicine, a baby is just thought of, created, transferred and grown.  Wouldn't that be nice??  Unfortunately there tend to be just as many snags, hang ups bumps in the road and delays with assisted reproduction as with traditional efforts.  There are donors and doctors and surros and lining checks and our most recent "bump" schedules!  Many of you know that a new egg donor was chosen and screened shortly after our failed cycle in December.  Nearly 2 full months have passed and what we thought would certainly be a March transfer was being pushed farther and farther back.  First we waited for her...I rearranged my school and clinical schedule to accommodate and would you believe now it is my schedule we are trying to work around.  I know this is frustrating to my IF but I assure you the norm is surrogacy is delay...it is a very tricky process to arrange 4 different parties (donor, IF, surro and doctor) in different states with different lives...It is possible though and when it is that perfect time it is peaceful.  So this is where we are..we have the "all clear" but we are waiting for the surro-stars to align and give us that perfect baby-making window.   Thanks to those of you who encourage me in my life.  Thanks for the words of support you give as I care for my family, take on a challenging career and seek to make a man a dad.  It is possible to do all these things but it is not easy.  Nothing that brings reward is. I am choosing (inspite of circumstances) to be VERY optimistic in this surrogacy.  I believe that whether or not things "go according to plan" this journey is still very much moving forward.  I will not be stressed out or pressured as that is not good for my body or soul and certainly will not be a good environment for a baby bean.  I am open and excited and calm and ready...Here is to being one step closer (not 2 steps back).

Posting..because I feel bad:)

Hey all,
I am posting because it has been exactly one month since my last entry.  Many of you I am in touch with on a regular basis but some of you I am not so I will just give a brief update on where we are in this process..I am not pregnant (obviously) but after a few days of feeling disappointed I bounced back and realized, that the little bean inside just wasn't meant to be T's baby...As hard as a failed transfer is, hope arises quickly along with much anticipation, MUCH, and of course more waiting and wondering.  T selected a new egg donor (he was advised to do so by his doctor) and she is ready any time now to start meds and you know what that means???  I will start meds too!  I am excited and at the same time I don't have as much time to sit around and think about all that is about to be..I am in Nursing School and for any who have been down that road, you know it is all consuming.  I am thankful for a hubby who works hard so that I have all the time I need to devote to our kids and to studying...
Here is hoping we get our calendar soon and the baby making/growing can begin.

Not pregnant:(

Gosh, this is really NOT what I was hoping for..I was hoping to update everyone that a baby bundle of joy would be snuggling up into his daddy's arms in 10 months but it's looking like more like 13 or 14 months now.  I got the news OFFICIALLY at around 5:30 yesterday but the truth is I have known for a while...I never got that feeling that it took.  I was devastated for T and immediately felt responsible.  Isn't that what we women do?  We take everything on ourselves..successes and failures.  We blame ourselves.  I cried but shortly after receiving the news I felt relief..no more pregnancy tests..no more wondering.  Now I knew..now T could get the ball rolling for try #2...This next time will work.  I know it.  So what now?
I stop all my meds and wait for AF:/  Everything else is really up to "T" and our medical team.  We have both spoken to our doctor and have been advised to proceed together but make a few changes this time.  I spoke with "T" tonight and I get the feeling that he is ready to go..even more ready than before.  I am hopeful that his baby is on the way.
I am going to get back to the gym...back to my life as usual with the kids and my sweet hubby..MY hubby!!!  It was our 10th wedding anniversary yesterday and we had an amazing night out!  Tomorrow is my son Brennan's 8th birthday.  The most wonderful little man to ever live turns 8...be still my heart! 
Thank you all for reading and following..thanks for your support...until next time-

9 months??

So today marks 9 months for the surro-sweeties.  UNBELIEVABLE!  Wishing them a happy day (even though it's not a birthday).  Here is where the fun really begins.  Crawling and scooting and walking, Oh my!!

Love to you Linnea and Marius.

xoxo

p.s. in 6 days I should be heading to LA...

Beautiful People

I watched the season finale of Sister Wives last night.  This show has caught so much flack and called vile and disgusting but to me it kinda seems normal (for them NOT me) and functional.  Last night was the much anticipated delivery of Robyn and Kody's first baby together, Solomon.  Robyn wasn't the only wife nesting in anticipation, Meri, a sister wife, was also eager.  The birth was lovely but the heart stirring moment came moments after when Robyn offered to be a surrogate for Meri.  "Using yours and Kody's stuff" Robyn said.  I forget, because I am around surrogacy all day everyday, just how beautiful it truly is.  A woman sees the longing in the eyes of a parent to be and steps up and says "I want to do this...wholeheartedly...for you!"  Some critics of this process may say that we (surro's) are not entirely genuine as we receive compensation, but I assure you no amount of money can ever prompt a selfish heart to be so generous.  YES..this is a pat on the back to me and the many like me but hey I am after all a "Proud Surrogate".  Here is to all who are on the road of infertility or struggle to realize a family without assistance.  You are heroes!  You stop at nothing to see your dream a reality.  What a perfect team we make!!